Blog

Being Present

Do you ever have that wonderful feeling that all is going well for you? That your life is completely in-sync and you are flooded with creativity and joy? That is the powerful feeling of having Spirit move through you and direct your life.  At these moments, you are truly inspired. In fact, the word inspired can be broken down to “in-Spirit.” This magnificent feeling is our birthright, as we are all Divine at our core.

Yet most of us, quite often, block the flow of Spirit and therefore isolate ourselves from the Source, and our life begins to show distress. When we close ourselves off from the power and flow of Spirit; when we push too hard or act out of fear, we block Spirit from moving through us and close ourselves off from its power. This is what is often referred to as “ego” mind.

All around you, everywhere is a Universal Life force of unlimited potential and creativity. Just as fish swim in an invisible (to them) atmosphere called the ocean, we too have an energy field around us that is always there, yet invisible to the naked eye. When we live in the present moment, our minds open and receive this Universal Life force; we are guided towards correct action and our lives are fulfilling.

Potential Blocks To Being Present

Before I discuss further how to better connect to Spirit, I would like to remind you of the ways we block the flow of Spirit and revert into ego mind. Perhaps you can relate to some of them:

You:

  • Worry about what others think about you
  • Judge yourself by your possessions
  • Define your self by what you do or your achievements
  • Feel competitive or jealous of others
  • Feel disconnected from and criticized by God
  • Fear for the future
  • Dwell on the past
  • Compare yourself to others

That list was easy for me to make. Ask my why!

3 Steps To Meditation As A Tool

So how do we get back to allowing Spirit to guide us and connect to the Divine Will? The good news is since Spirit is always there for you, you don’t have to strive to find it. You just need to stop blocking it.

Meditation is a powerful tool for stilling the mind and opening yourself to the Divine. If you do not already have a practice, or don’t know how to do it, take heart – it’s easy! There are many techniques out there, with thousands of books and tapes on the process. Find a basic technique below.

Step 1

Turn your phone off and find a relaxing place.  Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet on the floor and palms on your lap – or sit on a cushion on the floor. Mentally, scan your body for any tension. Start with your toes, ankles, legs, etc all the way up to the top of your head. If you notice any tension, release it.

Step 2

Now, breathe in and slowly let the breath out. You may want to count to five on the “in” and “out” breaths until your breath is slow and even. Pay attention to the breath as it fills your body. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel your breath sink into your body and cleanse you.

Step 3

As you are doing this, you may notice that you have many thoughts that try to steal your attention from your breath. This is natural. For this moment, just let the thought pass without indulging in it. Put your attention back to the breath. Thoughts come, thoughts go. Your breath is the focus. Breathe in. Breathe out. It’s easy!

Meditation practice helps to still the mind so you do not indulge in ego thoughts, merely let them pass while you focus your intention on something life enhancing. You may use a mantra, image or affirmation too. Try this for at least ten minutes a day, and you will definitely start to feel more relaxed and peaceful.

Expanded Practice

But why settle for just ten minutes? What about the other fifteen hours and fifty minutes or so of your waking hours? You do not need to be in sitting meditation to utilize this peaceful technique. In fact, meditation is a practice to help you discipline your mind so you can maintain presence during your daily activities. So try this:

Watch all of your thoughts as an observer. Expand your awareness this week (month, year, life, etc.) during your daily activities and notice when you are reverting back to ego mind. You will know when it happens instantly, and instead of indulging in your thoughts, try to step back from them for a moment and focus on your breath as you let them pass. These thoughts are like clouds that obscure the clear blue sky, yet are not the sky themselves.

We can get lost in habitual thinking, feeling as if our life will fall apart if we do not continually try to figure everything out. Ironically, the more you do this, the less powerful you are. True power comes from stilling the mind and allowing the flow of Divine Will – the ultimate power. Remind yourself of this if you are tempted to indulge in your thoughts. Let them pass like clouds in the sky.

As you do this, you will notice that you feel more relaxed, joyful, and present. As you continue to do this, your life will change for the better as you receive inspired guidance and your intuition flourishes!

I hope you enjoy every moment being present.

If you would like to continue to explore Meditation as a tool, check out my article, How To Manage Your Emotions With Meditation.

Nobody can push your emotional buttons like your family

You may love and cherish your family very much. Your time together is wonderful.

Or, you feel that they misunderstand you and you want them to appreciate you more. Or, you long for a sense of family you never had, (or maybe a combination of both).

How you feel about your family permeates every area of your life. That’s because we all long to be part of a tribe. It’s essential to our well being.

You’ve probably heard this before, but it’s worth repeating. You choose your family before you are born. Besides your romantic partners, your family relationships are your most potent opportunity for spiritual growth.

We’re on this planet to learn about every aspect of love. What better way to learn how to love than to HAVE to be with people your whole life?

There is a reason the words family and familiar have the same root. You have known your family before. You have most likely had past lives with every member in your family – multiple lifetimes.

It’s very common for souls to incarnate together over and over again, in different roles. You have all agreed to be in each other’s lives with the same intention – to learn how to love. Sometimes that means you challenge each other, sometimes you support each other, and quite often, it’s a combination of both.

Fill you heart with love

When you learn to love and accept your family members without judgement or wanting them to change who they are, something amazing takes place. You liberate yourself from being burdened by what they say or do. You can live your life on your own terms and experience true compassion.

I encourage you to view your family members as your spiritual teachers, offering you whatever lessons your soul desired for you to grow. By doing so, you take responsibility for your own life and happiness. You will open your heart to experience love on a much deeper level. And when you do, you will feel at home.

When you have a spiritual perspective about your family dynamics, it can really change how you feel about yourself and your life. Remember, the more love you have in your heart, the more love you feel from others.

The Messages Around Us

I was on a road trip recently when I noticed the license plate in front of me. It was almost the same as mine. Take heed, I thought, your guides are trying to tell you something.

Every time there is a recurrence of letters, numbers, or events, it signals a symbolic message from your Divine helpers.

Within one hour or so, I saw three consecutive license plates that really made me think. The first one read, “IN DEBT.” I almost thought it was funny, but a little alarming that someone would pay extra to let us know that!

The second one read, “IT NERD.” IT, I am assuming for Information Technology, and I thought the self-deprecating humor was a bit overdone for a license plate, and it made me feel uneasy.

The third license plate read, “FAILURE.” Can you imagine? Someone actually paid money to put that on a license plate, to bring attention to themselves, and have everyone read that!

Understandably, I couldn’t find the humor in it, I only felt sorry for the person. Then I wanted to know – what are my guides trying to tell me?

The message was instantly clear.

Expression of Self Image

When we have thoughts about ourselves, positive or negative, we carry those thoughts with us. We create an image of ourselves that is projected outward for others to read about us. And just as those drivers spent extra money for self-effacing license plates, it is often extra energy for us to carry around a negative self-image, than to assume the best for ourselves with a positive one.

Why do we do this? Oftentimes it is to protect ourselves from disappointment. What if we think we are really beautiful and then someone comes along and criticizes our looks? We fear that we will then we feel doubly stupid and embarrassed!

What if you think you are really smart and talented at something, and you don’t get any clients for your craft? Or, what if you don’t do well on tests, or you can’t get a job in your field? It becomes embarrassing to try and then fail, as opposed to never trying at all.

The irony is that a negative self-image, somewhere, subtly, may be keeping us from succeeding in the first place. There may be a little voice inside your head that says you need to live in poverty to be a successful artist, or that you are destined never to have money, or that you are a loner by nature, and therefore aren’t good at meeting people. You get the picture.

Make A Shift

How do we remedy this? First, notice your thoughts! Spend at least one day taking stock of what you are thinking, especially when you are interacting with other people.

When you are talking to someone new, are you thinking “they think I’m an idiot” or “they’re looking at my big nose”? Even a positive self-image can have negative subconscious thoughts – “they think I’m conceited because I’m good-looking.” You will be surprised at how many times a day you label yourself, good or bad.

The next step is, notice your thoughts about other people and how often you criticize them! Perhaps because we know how harsh our critic is, we are so afraid of it in other people. This exercise is very interesting!

Finally, whenever you notice a label or criticism in your mind, try to replace it with something positive. We did a wonderful exercise in theater school once while I was acting. The director had us all walk around the room as if we were in a gown (or fancy suit). We were to imagine the most beautiful one we could think of.

Then we glided around the room with our imaginary gowns and felt the beauty of it, the fabric, the texture, our hair was coiffed, our faces Divine, and experienced that luxury. then we would stop and notice the person across from us, silently admired their exquisiteness and sauntered on. Oh – it was heavenly!

Then, he had us do this exercise as if we were stark naked, and proudly walked about the room feeling beautiful and admiring others. What a marvelous feeling! Because it was a theatre exercise, none of us had any shame or embarrassment in feeling beautiful, proud, wealthy, Divine. Joy filled the whole room!

Create The Best You

I think back on this exercise whenever I need a lift, and try to replicate it in different ways. Try to picture yourself wealthy, happy, beautiful, graceful, kind, and admire the exquisiteness in others.

Become successful by thinking of yourself as such. Create the self-image that you desire. Others see you that way; they pick up on it, and have confidence in you. Always expect the best for yourself. Why not?

Remember, even the wealthiest, most physically attractive celebrities have some people think they are funny looking, or not talented etc. Has that held them back? There will always be people who believe in you, and people who don’t. Who do you want to listen to? Ideally none of them. Concentrate on the Divine spark within you, and you will shine!

I want you to attract more true love into your life.

Too often, I see people either stay in unhappy relationships way too long. Or, they stay single and give up on love altogether.

You never need to settle! If you desire true love, you can have it!

Love is the strongest energy in the Universe. You are divinely designed to be a vehicle for love.

If you have a desire to be in a healthy, harmonious, and happy romantic relationship, then you have all the power within you to attract it. We live in a benevolent Universe.

You will never be given a desire without the means to fulfill your desire.

3 techniques to attract more true love into your life

Fall in love with yourself

If you want someone to love and adore you, shower you with appreciation, and support you emotionally, you need to be your own BFF. Look at yourself through the eyes of beauty. Instead of focusing on what you’re doing wrong, praise yourself for what you’re doing right, and by all means, lavish yourself with time and attention!

Pursue your passions

If you’re looking for passionate romance, and you are not doing anything in your life that makes your heart sing, your relationships will fall flat. Take time every day to engage in soul satisfying, spirit-soaring endeavors. Attract amazing people into your life with your newly charged energy!

Love yourself as you are

If you feel like you need to lose weight, make more money, tuck your tummy, and tighten your abs in order for someone to love you, then the message you are telling yourself, and the Universe is that you are not good enough now. Remind yourself that who you are right now is beautiful and worthy of receiving love.

Practice these simple steps and observe how differently people respond to you. All relationships are a mirror for how you treat yourself. When you treat yourself with true love, kindness and compassion, others will too.

If you want to take your love life to a whole new level, I’ve created a Soul Mates, Love and Relationships class as I share with you the Universal Laws of love, help you release the energy from the past that’s holding you back, and let more true love into your life.

Love rules!

 

Are You Enabling or Empowering Your Loved Ones?

If you are a kind, compassionate, sensitive person (which you most definitely are), you never want to see anyone suffer; especially someone you love.

It is natural to want to help someone avoid pain, challenges, and possibly deter them from making a wrong decision. If you have any wisdom that could assist someone you naturally want to offer your insight. You want to enable by empowering your loved ones.

When you offer experience and expertise to someone who is eager to learn from you, there is a healthy reciprocal exchange of energy. Both parties benefit and feel wonderful from the interaction.

What happens, however, when someone you love is suffering, and keeps making the same mistakes over and over again? Part of the human experience is learning from mistakes.

At some point, our self-limiting habits will become so obvious that we take steps to clear them. It can take some trial and error for these habits to rise to our conscious awareness. In time, however, all self-destructive patterns will be replaced with love.

No matter how much faith you have in a person to succeed, it can be difficult to watch them fall, even if it is for a moment. What tends to happen, is that we try to protect people from their own pain by taking it on ourselves. It’s as if we say to ourselves, “I’m stronger than you, I know I can handle this, and you can’t so give it to me.”

What happens in these situations is that you are putting someone else’s needs in front of your own. Empowering your loved ones can seem like a loving selfless act. However, it doesn’t benefit either of you in the end.

If you sacrifice your own well-being by protecting your loved one from their mistakes, you are denying them an experience to learn and grow. There is a part of you that doesn’t trust them to know what is good for them. At that point, your kindness becomes more enabling than empowering for them.

Four simple guidelines to foster healthy and reciprocal relationships:

Be aware of your boundaries

If you are taking on responsibility for something that isn’t yours, you are allowing energy into your life that will deplete you.  Alternatively, if you are offering advice that you weren’t asked for, you are invading another person’s boundaries, which doesn’t feel good to either of you. Make sure you remind yourself that you are two distinct people each with your own energy and experiences.

Love is more powerful than fear

If you are fearful, that only instills more doubt and anxiety in the person you are trying to help. Instead of focusing on the worst case scenario, visualize your loved one successful and happy. The more you focus on that energy, the more they will entrain to it. The Universe loves to give you what you visualize.

If it’s not your life, it’s not your job

Everyone has life lessons. If we didn’t have lessons, we would not have come to Earth! Even though it seems like someone is suffering, on a soul level they are thriving – learning all that they intended to in this lifetime.

Spiritually, now matter what it looks like on the outside, we are all in the right place at the right time. Each soul has their own guardian angels helping them as well. We are all  in good hands (wings)! You can trust their Higher Self to guide them.

Love your life first

It’s impossible to know what someone else needs or what is appropriate for them if you don’t know what’s right for yourself. There is a divine plan for all of us. Each one of us is aware of our own plan through our heart and intuition.

If you are afraid that if you do what is truly in your heart that you will be hurting someone else, then you are not trusting the beauty and harmony of the Universe. What is right and appropriate for you is ultimately going to be best for everyone.

Whether it is your spouse, child, parent, friend, or even acquaintance, the BEST possible thing you can do for anyone is to be happy. Live your life to the fullest and everyone around you will be lifted by your energy.